July 23/ Cry-Baby/ PG-13/ Ended.

[Max]

Character(s): Max Kimori and Asuka Tomoe (essentially Yukiatsu and Tsuruko)
Time: 8:30-ish A.M
Location: Hallway


In the boy's hands was an old sketchbook and a pencil, another stowed behind his ear. Max hadn't spent much time drawing in the past few months, and had finally unpacked his supplies that morning. He slipped quietly out of the room, picked up a muffin from the cafeteria and wandered about until he found the windowsill he was currently seated in.

Max had drawn the frame of the window, a warped self-portrait and the woman from his only childhood memory, but now he was bored. He scratched his temple with the eraser end of his pencil, thinking too hard for his own good. It was too early to be doing so.

"God, I'm so bored!" the light-haired boy yawned, drawing out the 'o' more than necessary. Max knew it was his fault that he hadn't made friends at this school yet, but he couldn't be bothered with it anymore, not that particular moment, anyway.

He thought about texting some of his friends from his old school, and, pulling his phone out of the pocket of his pants, Max almost did exactly that. Memories of the last time he spent with his friends flashed through his mind, causing him to become angry, seething almost.

Without a second thought, Max threw his phone as hard as he could down the hallway, watching it nearly shatter on its way to the far wall. "Those fucking assholes," he said, angry tears welling in his eyes.

[false]

Asuka had only just conquered the last step at the top of the staircase when a cell phone came flying at her, banking harshly against the wall. Glancing incredulously at the hallway, she saw that the only probable culprit was a boy with light brown hair sitting atop a windowsill. "What the fuck were you doing?!" she shouted, storming up to him. "You could have hurt someon-"

Were those tears in his eyes? Asuka was more than a little taken back by this realisation - what could be so awful to cause a boy his age to look so bitter, so forlorn, this early in the morning? It was unsettling, to say the least; the vibes of thinly veiled insecurity he was giving off were so blatant to her that she found the rage she'd felt before deflating out of existence. She found it impossible to stay mad at someone who was crying and had never made any personal cracks at her, anyway.

"Are you okay?" Asuka asked, a little gentler this time, cerulean eyes brimming with concern.

[Max]

Max heard shouting from around the small corner near where his cellphone had landed and cursed to himself. He'd believed he was alone, and that if his anger had been too much - which it always was - he could actually cry without risking someone seeing him.

A girl walked around the corner, her voice stopping abruptly when her eyes landed on Max. Fan-fucking-tastic. She moved toward him while he made every attempt to hide his tears from her. Max was out of luck, though.

"Are you okay?" she asked him, sounding genuinely concerned for someone who seemed prepared to tear him a new one only second ago.

"Yeah, I'm fuckin' peachy,"[/color] Max said, wiping at his eyes again. That had been rude. Sighing he turned to the girl, "I'm fine, thanks. Unfortunate accident," he gestured at the smashed phone. "Sorry for almost killing you with it."

[false]

"Yeah, I'm fuckin' peachy," the boy had said. At the moment, he reminded her of a wounded animal - both crying and lashing out at everything around him. He was trying to hide his tears, but it was obvious that he was upset. "I'm fine, thanks. Unfortunate accident. Sorry for almost killing you with it."

"I'm not stupid, you know." Asuka narrowed her eyes at him, looking directly into his. There was something there: anguish, regret, something terrible; whoever he was, he was trying to face it all alone. For a brief second, Asuka thought she caught a glimpse of herself in there - the part of her that was ugly, insecure, inferior. It made her want to punch him in the jaw and walk away, but it also made her want to stay and find out for herself whether he was rotten to the core, just like she was. "You've been crying."

Sighing, Asuka sat next to him on the windowsill. She didn't have class until 10:00, but this was not how she planned on spending her morning. But whoever this boy was, regardless of the fact that he obviously wanted to be left alone, she couldn't leave him - not until she could tell whether they were kindred spirits or not.

[Max]

The girl caught Max's gaze as she moved to sit down on the windowsill with him. She had beautiful eyes, but Max sensed that she wasn't simply trying to capture his attention.

"You've been crying," she had said, adding a sigh on to the end of her observation. Her red glasses were distracting Max from being annoyed with her about being caught.

Scoffing lightly, Max told her, "It's been a hectic morning already," he wiped at the last of his tears. "Remembering how lonely you really are, and then how fucking awful the people you believed were your friends are... It's the fucking worst."

Max didn't know why he was speaking to this stranger about his problems, but it was better than nothing in the moment. She hadn't told him he was being an idiot like anyone else would have, the dark-haired girl seemed really, genuinely interested in what was bothering him.

"The guys had said I should be grateful, though, and I guess I should." Max closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall. "Because of what I did for them, I can afford to attend this school."


(OOC: This is baaaad, and short kdjhfksdh Sorry!)

[false]

"It's been a hectic morning already," he said, wiping the last tears from his eyes. "Remembering how lonely you really are, and then how fucking awful the people you believed were your friends are... It's the fucking worst."

Not quite sure of what to say, Asuka simply nodded. Though she'd never really had friends, she was painfully aware of how awful most people were; she supposed that having friends that turned out to be awful hurt far more than having none at all. For a moment, she was grateful for her insight, but it passed. Being alone wasn't so great, either.

"The guys had said I should be grateful, though, and I guess I should." he said, eyes closed as he leaned back against the wall. "Because of what I did for them, I can afford to attend this school."

Now, that was a strange thing to say. What had they made him do, exactly? He hardly looked like he was ready to elaborate, but she could have cut the negative vibes from his last sentence with a knife. "Why should they have to tell you to be grateful?" Asuka asked, looking at him out of the corner of her eyes. "If whatever opportunity they gave you was truly as great as they claim it to be, shouldn't there be no doubt in your mind that it was the right thing to do?"

[Max]

Max laughed bitterly, throwing his head back against the wall behind him. When his skull connected with the white bricks, the boy felt a sharp pain, but he ignored it expertly. If he got a headache later, he would address it then.

"Why should I have to be grateful?" Max repeated, dropping his eyes back to the girl in front of him. "Would you feel grateful toward someone that kicked you through awful situation after fucking awful situation even if you got what was promised to you in the end?" Max shook his head, half of his mouth lifting in an annoyed half-smile.

Though he didn't know the girl and it wasn't exactly like he was spilling much about his past, he felt like he could probably continue and she wouldn't leave or call him a loser for sobbing about it.

Well, that last part might be a little over-exaggerated, be he couldn't bring himself to care. If she walked away and Max never saw her again after that day, so be it, he didn't care. Max was so used to it that it didn't matter anymore.

"They said I should be grateful because I had the money to attend this damn school when they were finished with me," Max spat out the word 'finished' like it was poisonous, "They could have done a lot worse, but they just kicked me away like I was some wounded puppy they couldn't be bothered with anymore." More tears threatened to spill, but Max held back as best as he possibly could. "And I realized, as I was signing the applications for this place, I would have rather gone on believing they were my friends and stayed at a school I hated than to suffer all of that just to come here and be alone."

[false]

"Why should I have to be grateful?" he muttered, the question essentially rhetorical. "Would you feel grateful toward someone that kicked you through awful situation after fucking awful situation even if you got what was promised to you in the end?"

No, I wouldn't, Asuka thought. I'd tell them to go to hell, maybe punch them in the face, and then never associate with them. That'd be shitty advice, though; and it wasn't like she was one to talk about irrational emotional disorders.

Every time the word, 'they' escaped his lips, Asuka could detect a venomous undertone, bitter hatred that was so thinly veiled she couldn't help but wonder what on earth he'd been forced to do to get into Aozora. He was on the verge of tears again, she could see it, even though he was fighting valiantly to stay in control.

Max's last statement took Asuka by surprise - why would he prefer to steep himself in ignorance? The very idea was inconceivable to her, it wasn't even an option and it never had been. She waited for him to finish before responding, trying her hardest to keep her responses as helpful as possible. "They're obviously not worth your time," she said, looking him directly in the eye. "I don't claim to know anything about your situation, but they hardly sound like friends to me. Staying behind would have been pointless - people's true selves always emerge eventually."

Reaching into the depths of her messenger bag, Asuka pulled out a kleenex and handed it to him. "Keep crying," she said, amazed at how much she sympathized with a total stranger. "It's bad to hold it in."

[Max]

The girl reached in to her bag, retrieving a kleenex and handing to over to him. She told him to keep crying, and that it was bad to hold it in. Max knew what she had told him was right, but... Shaking his head, he realized all of the excuses he was about to make were pointless.

It was true that he didn't know her, but she'd already seen him sobbing, and he had already said too much to back-peddle now. With a sigh, Max took the kleenex and ducked his head to blow his nose.

He let a few more tears spill over before he started talking again. "I know they would've shown their true selves eventually, but by the time they did I would have been one of them, y'know? So it wouldn't have bothered me!" Max shook his head, wiping at his red-rimmed eyes with the back if his hand again.

What he wanted to say and what he had been saying were two completely different things. Max could continue to be vague and probably extremely annoying, or he could actually let someone in for the first time. Tough choices, for Max anyway. He sighed angrily, indecision gnawing at him.

"The guys - Takashi and Satsuki, mostly - treated me like shit, but called me their friend at the same time." Max told her, deciding on the latter option. He needed someone to talk to anyway, even if it were only for a brief moment. "Though, I discovered real damn quick that being 'friends' to them meant 'do this for us, and we might include you in the fun later,' but I had no one else to spend my free time with and I hated everyone else at school, so..." he trailed off a bit, noticing he wasn't crying as hard anymore. "I told them that I needed money - not for school, no way - and they said they'd help me out if I helped them. Satsuki was under the impression I was gay or some shit," he made a face, turning his gaze to look out of the window. "Whatever," Max rolled his eyes as he snapped his head back to the dark-haired girl.

The boy wanted to wring his "friend's" necks. Satsuki had practically fucking forced himself on Max, and Takashi had sat back and laughed. What great fucking friends they were. Opening his mouth again, Max nearly let that last part slip out.

He chuckled humorlessly, "Anyway, I did some shit for them - drug running, near prostitution - almost got arrested, too! But in the end, I found out how fucking disgusting they were, but I don't feel any better now that I'm always alone." Max tilted his head, considering apologizing for everything he was dumping on her like this.

But, he rationalized, she had been the one to sit down next to him, not vice versa.

[false]

The boy just kept crying, ducking his head to blow into the handkerchief she'd given him. It was slightly mortifying how utterly miserable he was - moreso how it was apparent that, until now, he'd been holding all of it in. Asuka listened intently as the boy continued his story, his tears seeming more and more justified the more he elaborated.

To reach Aozora, this boy had endured more than Asuka could possibly imagine - even her insane, abusive parents paled in comparison to what he'd said. She knew instinctively that he wasn't bullshitting her about it at all; if anything he was probably downplaying the effect it had on his psyche. It was almost impossible for her to imagine him doing anything other than being the quiet, talented kid she'd watched during acting class - the difference between his normal self and the mental image of him bending over in a filthy restroom, presided over by an equally filthy patron, or selling drugs to junkies in warehouses, swallowing his own fear, was a tough pill to force down her throat. It was obvious that this boy did not belong in that world, yielding to the vices of the depraved and the clandestine.

Asuka rarely sympathized with others, which mostly stemmed from her borderline psychic ability to see everything about them; but in this case she was either going to cry with him or figure out the names of his friends and beat them to a pulp. It didn't matter that he was a complete stranger; she could feel his repressed misery - she could see it in his body language, in his eyes. Now, more than ever, Asuka wished that her words were good for more than tearing other people apart.

"It's..." Asuka said, wavering a little, unsure of what approach to take. "It's better to be alone. Whether you're happy or not - it doesn't matter." Glaring at the cell phone that he'd thrown at her earlier, she was certain that his 'friends' had been responsible for that. "Associating with manipulative, worthless people like that isn't worth your time." She was making a lot of assumptions, but that was okay. Asuka was rarely ever wrong.

Frowning, Asuka got up from the windowsill and retrieved his phone, casting a glance at the puffy-eyed boy from over her shoulder. "Break it," she said, standing directly in front of him with the device held in both hands. "It's better off that way."

[Max]

Finishing his explanation, Max looked back to the girl - her eyes this time, a surreal crystal-clear blue only seen in the Caribbean waters - and watched her expressions changed quickly, before she settled on something akin to sympathy.

Max drew in a quick breath. He hadn't seen sympathy for years. He hadn't had anyone tell him it was going to be okay, that he could cry, comfort him, and this girl was doing exactly that.

The girl turned her gaze away from him, looking to the black dot of a cellphone still lying against the furthest wall from the two of them. "It's better to be alone. Whether you're happy or not - it doesn't matter. Associating with manipulative, worthless people like that isn't worth your time."

Soon after, she stood up and walked down the hallway. Max's eyes widened, thinking she was just... walking away from him, that she was finished and, quickly, Max became almost angry at her. But when she stopped, bent down and retrieved his phone, turning to him again, Max exhaled hard, his anger focused on himself now. He hated that he jumped so quickly to conclusions, but he wasn't in any position to fix that flaw just yet.

"Break it," she said, appearing in front of him again, cradling the phone in both hands as if it were an injured bird. "It's better off that way."

Max stood from the windowsill as well, only a few inches from her, and took the phone delicately. He flipped it open, blinking at the flashing 'one new message' on the screen. For a moment, he considered reading the message - it really only could be from one of two people - but, as his eyes traveled back to the girl, landing on her red glasses, the idea flew from Max's head. Looking down, Max took one half of the phone in each of his hands and pulled down hastily, snapping it in to two pieces and watching the light leave the screen.

The light-haired boy smiled softy, dropping the pieces to the floor and dusting off his hands, a tiny shard of plastic scratching the palm of his left hand, but he didn't care. "Thank you," his eyes were back on hers again. "For.. shit, for everything." He smiled at her, a very real, genuine smile. Max hadn't done that in a while, either. "Uh, I'm not quite sure how to repay you for this." He said, gesturing around him.

Somehow, he needed to pay her back for this. He didn't deserve her kindness. Somehow.

Then, offering her a hand, he said, "I'm Max, by the way."

[false]

Asuka watched, satisfied, as the boy broke his phone in half. She'd caught a glimpse of a 'new message' notification, saw that he'd entertained the idea of opening it, but in the end he followed her advice and destroyed the cursed device that linked him to his malevolent former friends.

The broken remains of his cellphone clattered to the floor, a hopeful, satisfied smile on his face. "Thank you," he said, eyes back on hers. "For.. shit, for everything." His smile was bigger now, blatantly genuine. It looked pretty funny compared to the faces he'd made earlier - perpetually scowling, vaguely constipated. "Uh, I'm not quite sure how to repay you for this." Asuka smiled back, a little weirded out that someone was thanking her for once. Usually they'd rather she dropped dead.

"I'm Max, by the way." Max offered her a hand, which she took. "I'm Asuka," she said plainly, not quite sure where to go from where they were.

"You don't have to repay me. Really. It's bad enough having a shitty past, even worse if you have to face it alone." Asuka sighed, letting her hand slip out of his. "I've been there. I'm still there." She wasn't entirely sure whether she wanted to tell him about her own past, wasn't sure if it would seem paltry compared to whatever weights were on her shoulders.

[Max]

The girl took his hand and smiled back at him. "I'm Asuka," she said.

For an instant, Max felt like they were old friends, meeting again for the first time in years. That -- above all -- made him feel better than her words had. Asuka may not have felt the same thing -- for all I know she could be waiting until I stop grinning like a creep and let her leave -- but Max hoped she felt something for the boy who'd just confessed everything he had been holding in without knowing her for more than five minutes.

"You don't have to repay me. Really. It's bad enough having a shitty past, even worse if you have to face it alone." Asuka sighed, releasing Max's hand. "I've been there. I'm still there."

Though Max couldn't tell at all what she meant by that, he knew it couldn't be anything good. The light-haired boy could see that much in her expression -- her eyes -- but he didn't know how to approach it delicately like Asuka had with him.

He sat back down on the windowsill, moving his sketch pad quickly to the floor to free up some more room. Drawing his knees to his chest, Max turned to Asuka.

"The take your own advice," he said, a simple suggestion. "'It's bad enough having a shitty past, even worse if you have to face it alone.'" he repeated what she had said word for word, looking up at her curiously. "You listened to me -- helped me much more than I deserved -- so it's your turn now, if you want."

He really hoped Asuka would take him up on the offer -- statement? -- because everything he had said was true. Max didn't believe that he deserved such sympathy and kindness from her without giving her something in return, whether she said it wasn't necessary or not, he still felt that he needed to help, too. Somehow.

[false]

"Then take your own advice," Max had said, moving his sketchpad so there'd be room for him to sit back down on the windowsill. Asuka felt herself gasp a little at this; she'd hardly expected a reaction like that. Damn it. "You listened to me -- helped me much more than I deserved -- so it's your turn now, if you want." She still wasn't sure whether she wanted to tell him anything, but she was hardly willing to let his mental image of her get twisted into that of a hypocrite. No way, not when they'd already established their new-but-old-friend relationship. Friend, huh? Asuka liked how that sounded.

Taking a deep breath, Asuka joined him on the windowsill. Max was kind of abrasive - not like she was one to talk - but she could tell that he was willing to listen, at least.

"I spent most of my childhood starving to death - my parents spent their pathetic, paltry wages so they could indulge their alcoholism, among other addictions. Sometimes I stole from their savings so I could eat, but... that didn't end well. I was a walking skeleton and out of my entire elementary school, there was only one boy who tried to help. His name was Chiaki, he always gave me his lunch." At this, Asuka smiled a little, but it faded quickly. The specters of her past always tended to do that. "So I guess I wasn't all alone, at school, at least. But when I came home... they'd... they'd..."

Asuka's eyes were watering. Fuck. Again, she was tempted to clam up, but couldn't. Opportunities like these were too rare to take for granted. "...no little girl wants to be told she's worthless, that she should stop reading because no man wants a smart girl, that it'd be easier for them if she just dropped dead. That they're doing her a favour by being the shittiest parents I've ever encountered. I'd hide in the closet, or on the steps of the library until they drunk themselves asleep; but conscious or not I was always scared. Always."

"The older I got, the more I hated them, and the more they hated me. My mom was always burning my books - ones I'd borrowed from the library - just because she felt like it, and my dad... He'd try to get me to drink with him, thought it'd make me like them, or at least sedate me enough to stop pointing out the fact that they were both pathetic excuses for human beings. When I refused.. he'd... he'd hit me. Sometimes he came pretty close to killing me. I had to learn how to fight back if I wanted to stay in one piece."

Asuka was one level away from all-out sobbing now - she couldn't believe she'd been able to say any of this out loud, let alone to a perfect stranger. There was something special about Max that made her trust him with this sort of thing, though; he was the first person she'd ever elaborated this far with. "Stupid, right?" she laughed hollowly, gazing vacuously through the wall in front of her. "I should have left the moment I learned how to walk, but I was too scared. I think I loved them, in a bizarre way, and I was too little to understand that they didn't reciprocate the feeling beneath their façades. But I know now that there was no façade; they were both as shallow as people can possibly get. They're still that way, as far as I know."

"Acting.. was my way of escaping them, if only for a short time. To become someone else - anyone else - was a fantastic idea, and.. I was better at being them than I was at being myself. At least that way people would look at me in a way that wasn't hostile, y'know? I did that a lot during middle school, and it felt wonderful. Eventually I was pointed towards Aozora. Since scholarships are hard to get - as you know - I essentially quit sleeping to work. I can't even count on one hand the number of jobs I had during then.. but eventually I saved up enough." Asuka wiped a tear from her eye, eyes downcast towards the floor. "And here I am, out of that damn house. It's not like I've escaped them, or anything - I don't think I could ever do that. I'm a thousand times smarter than the two of them combined but they still scare me, deep down, isn't that pathetic?"

[Max]

Asuka sat down next him, taking in a deep, almost shaky breath before she spoke. Max could tell -- vaguely -- that she wasn't thrilled to be discussing it, but, then again, Max hadn't been too thrilled about opening up. Now though, he was immensely grateful that he had.

He only hoped the dark-haired girl would feel the same in the end.

"I spent most of my childhood starving to death - my parents spent their pathetic, paltry wages so they could indulge their alcoholism, among other addictions." Max inhaled sharply, suddenly at a loss of what to do. He had been so wrapped up in trying to figure out what to do that he had completely missed her last few words. Something about a friend? She was smiling slightly. "So I guess I wasn't all alone, at school, at least. But when I came home... they'd... they'd..."

They'd what, Asuka? They'd what?

"...no little girl wants to be told she's worthless, that she should stop reading because no man wants a smart girl, that it'd be easier for them if she just dropped dead."

Max's fingers twitched, itching to move to comfort the girl in some way. He had been there -- kind of -- and spent the better part of his life being called 'worthless.' Sometimes even by the people that gave up so much to keep him around. He had to blink back a second round of tears. This time, it wasn't about him. If he cried again, she might, and Max didn't know if he could handle that.

"Stupid, right?" No. The girl's eyes were fixed on something in front of her, not moving, and probably not seeing much. "I should have left the moment I learned how to walk, but I was too scared. I think I loved them, in a bizarre way, and I was too little to understand that they didn't reciprocate the feeling beneath their façades."

That hit the boy hard. He and Asuka had more in common than he had originally believed -- both trying to love people that were killing them. She said she was too little to understand, but what could his excuse have been? Too stoned? Too stupid? Up until today, he had still been trying to justify his friend's actions.

"Acting... was my way of escaping them, if only for a short time." The brunette nodded, understanding her reasoning once again. "To become someone else - anyone else - was a fantastic idea, and... I was better at being them than I was at being myself. At least that way people would look at me in a way that wasn't hostile, y'know?"

I do. I do know exactly what you mean. He couldn't bring himself to speak this aloud for fear of Asuka growing quiet if he interrupted her. After all, those were Max's exact reasons -- almost to a 't' -- for doing what he did. He didn't like himself, and it was much easier to take on the persona of a fictional character and deal with their miniscule problems than to think and think about his.

Asuka reached up and wiped at her face -- she was crying? --, her gaze now on the floor. "And here I am, out of that damn house. It's not like I've escaped them, or anything - I don't think I could ever do that. I'm a thousand times smarter than the two of them combined but they still scare me, deep down, isn't that pathetic?"

No.

Max inched sideways until he was close enough to wrap his arms around her. Although Asuka didn't give him the 'touchy-feely' vibe, the boy could tell when someone was in need of some kind of comforting. He didn't really trust his voice at the moment, instead focusing on locking his finger's together on her opposite shoulder -- one arm resting lightly on her shoulders, the other reaching across her body -- and just... being there for her.

"No," Max finally said, "It's not pathetic. For a long time, I thought it was, but even fucking idiots have the power to hurt people -- that I know from experience, too. And I'd rather have the life beat out of me than be called 'worthless' one more time..." Max trailed off, another few tears escaping his eyes. "But I think you could escape them completely if you wanted to -- I feel like I escaped, or, like I'm escaping. I wanted to get out of there so much that I did... what I did just to be able to leave."

His grip on her tightened just a bit, making sure she knew he really was there for her. And, now, probably always would be.